1cc5a8ecfe
Implements the Reply All Regrets™ frontend design: retro office aesthetic with manila/ink/stamp-red/olive palette, Fraunces + JetBrains Mono + Inter typography. Includes homepage, category, product detail, blog, about, cart templates with WooCommerce integration and interactive JS (filter, sort, gallery). Co-Authored-By: Paperclip <noreply@paperclip.ing>
90 lines
4.2 KiB
PHP
90 lines
4.2 KiB
PHP
<?php
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/**
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* Template Name: About
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* About page — manifesto + origin + stats + team
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*/
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get_header();
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the_post();
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?>
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<div class="rar-breadcrumb">
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<a href="<?php echo esc_url(home_url('/')); ?>">Home</a> / <span>About</span>
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</div>
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<section class="rar-about-hero">
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<div>
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<div class="rar-form-tag" style="margin-bottom:22px;">FORM 11 · ABOUT · COMPANY FILE</div>
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<h1>
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We make things<br>
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for people who are<br>
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<em style="color:var(--stamp);font-style:italic;">mostly fine.</em>
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</h1>
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<div class="rar-about-manifesto">
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<?php if (get_the_content()) : ?>
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<?php the_content(); ?>
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<?php else : ?>
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<p>Reply All Regrets™ was founded on the premise that office culture deserves better merchandise. We make mugs, canvases, planners, and apparel for the chronically employed — people who have sent a reply-all they regret, attended a meeting that could have been an email, and circled back when they absolutely should not have.</p>
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<p>Everything ships from Cleveland. Everything is dishwasher safe. Most things are HR safe.</p>
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<?php endif; ?>
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</div>
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</div>
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<div style="background:repeating-linear-gradient(135deg,var(--manila-deep) 0 14px,var(--manila-dark) 14px 28px);border:1px solid var(--hairline-strong);aspect-ratio:4/5;display:flex;align-items:center;justify-content:center;">
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<div style="font-family:var(--serif);font-style:italic;font-size:48px;font-weight:500;text-align:center;color:var(--ink);line-height:1.1;padding:20px;">
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Mostly<br>fine.™
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</div>
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</div>
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</section>
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<section class="rar-about-body">
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<div class="rar-form-tag" style="margin-bottom:16px;">FORM 11-A · BY THE NUMBERS</div>
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<div class="rar-about-stats">
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<?php
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$stats = [
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['2024', 'Year founded'],
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['141', 'Products in catalog'],
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['41', 'States shipping'],
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['4.8★', 'Average review'],
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];
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foreach ($stats as [$num, $label]) {
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echo '<div class="rar-about-stat">';
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echo '<div class="rar-about-stat__num rar-serif">' . esc_html($num) . '</div>';
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echo '<div class="rar-about-stat__label">' . esc_html($label) . '</div>';
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echo '</div>';
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}
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?>
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</div>
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<div style="max-width:720px;margin:48px 0;">
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<div class="rar-form-tag" style="margin-bottom:16px;">FORM 11-B · ORIGIN STORY</div>
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<h2 style="font-family:var(--serif);font-size:38px;font-weight:500;margin:0 0 24px;letter-spacing:-0.02em;">
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It started with a mug.
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</h2>
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<p style="font-size:16px;line-height:1.7;color:var(--ink-muted);margin-bottom:20px;">
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The "Per My Last Email" mug was designed in 2024 after one too many unnecessary reply-all
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chains. The original batch of 50 sold out in a weekend. We have since shipped to 41 states,
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been featured in 3 workplace humor newsletters, and received one cease-and-desist from a
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consulting firm whose name we will not mention here.
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</p>
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<p style="font-size:16px;line-height:1.7;color:var(--ink-muted);">
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We believe that the best way to survive office culture is to laugh at it loudly,
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drink your coffee from a mug that says what you wish you could, and hang something
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honest on the wall behind your monitor.
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</p>
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</div>
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<div style="margin-top:64px;">
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<div class="rar-form-tag" style="margin-bottom:16px;">FORM 11-C · PRESS</div>
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<div style="display:flex;gap:40px;align-items:center;flex-wrap:wrap;padding:24px 0;border-top:1.5px solid var(--ink);border-bottom:1.5px solid var(--ink);">
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<?php
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$press = ['Fast Co.', 'Office Life Mag', 'The Procrastinator', 'HR Weekly (Regrettably)', 'The Cubicle Quarterly'];
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foreach ($press as $p) {
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echo '<span style="font-family:var(--mono);font-size:11px;letter-spacing:0.2em;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--ink-muted);">' . esc_html($p) . '</span>';
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}
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?>
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</div>
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</div>
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</section>
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<?php get_footer(); ?>
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